May 26, 2016 cookieduster No comments exist

BBQ in Hell

It’s 115˚ Fahrenheit outside.  I am covered in sweat, charcoal dust, and ashes.  Waves of heat and billowing smoke dance above my dirty Weber grill.

I lift the cover to reveal its greasy, soot-clothed interior.  Four beautiful golden forms greet me from their positions on the grate, like beautiful, if plump and headless, nude sunbathers. I stab them remorselessly with my instant-read thermometer. It reads 160˚.  They are ready for the dinner table.  My mouth waters with anticipation.

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There is definitely something primitive, powerful, even beautiful about food that has been cooked over coals. Perhaps, this is because soon after our ancestors discovered fire, one to two million years ago, they began cooking with it.

 

Now, you may have read that bbq is really bad for you.  You may have read that it causes the “Big C.”

But, this is primarily due to a misunderstanding of bbq.

We need to be clear about this one very important point: BBQ IS NOT GRILLING.

 

BBQ is cooking meat at low temperatures for long periods of time.  There should be no flames licking at the posterior of the food being cooked.  BBQ does not leave your food crusty or blackened.  It should not involve billowing clouds of smoke, either.

It is a gentle, even genteel, cooking method that takes it slow, like a thoughtful lover.  It is a smoldering glance, not a tawdry lap dance.

Here’s a video from Southern Living that sums it up nicely.

 

So, taking the information from Bon Appetite and Southern Living, we know that BBQ happens between 200 and 300 degrees Fahrenheit, anything above that is closer to grilling and anything below that is better for smoking.

If you take a gander at the goose to the right, actually it’s turkey, you will see that it has crisp, golden skin.  You need a cooking temperature above 300 degrees to get this.  It’s called the Maillard Reaction. And, it’s delicious. But, cooking anything above 300 degrees for any length of time will tend to dry and blacken the food.  Cooking above 300 degrees must not last longer than it takes to color and crisp the food.  The majority of the cooking needs to take place at or below 300.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, grilling is good.  I love a bit of char as much as the next omnivore.  And, smoked foods can be very enjoyable indeed.  But, my area of expertise, and by expertise I mean repeated and delicious success, has been in the area of BBQ.

 

The secrets to my success are as follows:

My next post will address each of these in turn.

S.


 

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