According to  Psychology Today, science tells us that there are roughly 11 reasons why people fall in love.

So, I wondered if these reasons can explain why a person might fall in love with a place.

Before 2015, I didn’t really even want to visit Spain, no less buy a house there or plan to retire there. But, in just a couple of weeks, I fell head over heals for not just the country and culture, but a very specific kind of house and a very Spanish way of life.

So, let’s look at the 11 reasons to fall in love:

1. Similarity: 

I can definitely relate to a number of Spanish ideas: tapas, siestas, the importance of excellent food and drink, nude sunbathing, and a social safety network.

     2. Propinquity (familiarity):

Having lived and traveled through Europe before, makes Spain feel oddly familiar. The winding cobbled streets of Spain are not so different from those I’ve walked down before in France, Germany, or Hungary.

     3. Desirable characteristics: 

Spain is freakin’ beautiful. Spanish music, food and drink are easy to fall for as well.

     4. Reciprocal liking: 

The folks ins Spain like me. They really like me!

It wasn’t just that the  waiters and shopkeepers were pleasant and welcoming…

In that first, two-week trip, we had a couple of problems. We were locked out of our rental flat (the lock actually broke), but a lovely neighbor made numerous phone calls to the owner of the building and ultimately a locksmith to help us out. She also gave us drinks, let us use her bathroom, and was genuinely kind to us, for hours. This was in Madrid, a massive metropolis, by the way.

Later, in sunny Grenada, we were on our way to the airport when the pilot (me) lost his way. It was really early in the morning, and the only thing that was open was a McDonald’s drive through. When I couldn’t understand what the McDonald’s manager was trying telling me, one of the other employees, who I guess was getting off work, had us follow him to the airport turnoff many miles out of town.

See what I mean?

     5. Social influences: 

Saying I want to move to Spain was perfectly acceptable to my family and friends, much more so than moving to the UAE ever was. We’ve lived in the United Arab Emirates for 15 years, and our families still ask us if we are safe and when will we come home? And, after spending only five days in Galera, my wife was more than willing to consider a cave house in Spain as a retirement option. And, when we said we were going to purchase a house in Spain, the most common response was, “Oh, how wonderful!”

     

6. Filling needs: 

Spain fulfills my needs for quiet (cave houses are very well insulated.), safety (crime is almost unheard of in Galera), beauty (both natural and man-made), good food and good wine.

     7. Arousal/unusualness: 

While Spain is familiar, it is still a foreign country and culture. There are many aspects to her culture that I am sure I will never really understand. And, if live Flamenco dancing under the stars in Granada, accompanied by Gypsy singing and guitar doesn’t arouse you, you might be dead.

 

8. Specific Cues: 

Feeding off of my love of Bilbo Baggin’s house, may have led to my falling for the cave house in Galera.

9. Readiness: (Really wanting a relationship.)

This one doesn’t seem to apply. I had no interest in buying a cave house in Spain before I went, and retirement is at least a decade away.

10. Isolation:  (Spending a lot of time alone with someone.)

This one doesn’t fit either. I have spent far more time in other places, and the only time I was alone there was for a couple of days when I was inspecting our cave house before purchasing it.

     11. Mystery: 

There is plenty of mystery involved in buying a house in a foreign country, and living there will have more than enough challenges to not suffer from boredom anytime soon. A person could easily spend years exploring Spain’s natural beauty, amazing architecture, and fascinating festivals.  

Spain isn’t perfect. It took 2 months for us to get rid of some old furniture, and 4 months to get permission to rent out our cave house. Then, there are the troubles with Catalonia. And, frankly the Spanish have a real problem with animal welfare in some of their ancient rituals.

But, am I in love?

Yep.

-S